Being Present

One of the exercises we did during the first weekend at USM was a guided meditation designed to help you identify an area to focus, something to work on during your stay at USM. After the meditation, many people shared what they discovered and what it meant for them. The topics were very interesting and quite varied.

When we started the meditation, I didn't know what to expect. Laura tends to have these very vivid meditations where she sees a lot very interesting stuff full of symbolic meaning. I tend not to. I am more likely to see an image unexpectedly than in a meditation. This one was different. I actually saw most of what the guide was describing. The area that came up for me was 'mindfulness.' At first I didn't quite get it but after some thought, I understood it to mean being present. At that moment, my experience from a week earlier at the triathlon, made complete sense to me (see earlier blog on my experience at the Carpinteria Triathlon). During the swim portion of the tri, i really freaked out because I felt that I didn't have the strength to continue and complete all that was before me. The only way I got through was by focusing on what was directly in front me and not worrying about the rest. That lesson I was reminded of and carried over to my experience at USM. Although it was really kind of scary to think about being there and extremely frightening to think about the upcoming two years, I managed not freak out by focusing on what was immediately before me.

This tendency to focus on the future or muddle around in the past has kept me in a lot of pain for a long time. Life is meant to be lived in the here and now.