Where did the fun in life go?

Second post in a single day...hmmmmm...its a record.

I think I am a pretty normal suburban dad: I have three kids (ages 5,7 and 9; all girls), a wife who is a stay-at-home mom and starting her own business, and work in a corporate environment, I try to stay in shape by doing triathlons, I have in-laws who don't care for me much (perhaps understandably), I have bills to pay, debt to get through, blah, blah, blah...

I going about and living my life, periodically I get an awareness that I am missing something. Perhaps its some super close friends that I can't live without. Perhaps its passion about something...a cause, an event, or even a sports team. Something. It seems like sometime between the age of four and now, I lost the magic of life. I think I placed it down while I was so busy examining and living up to standards and rules of other people. But when did that happen? Its been so long that I can't really remember.

Remember as a kid when your best friend moved away and you thought your heart was going to break? Or the excitement of when your favorite sports team won? Or the peace and safety you felt in your parents arms as you drifted off to sleep? It seems like the mosaic of life was simple, yet so beautiful.

Now, I feel like I play a series of roles: son, brother, husband, dad, worker, boss, work-friend, casual friend, neighbor, etc. Where am I in all those roles. Where did all the simple, intense feelings of life go? its not that I want to return to my childhood, its just that I want find that magic again. The kind you feel when you look into the night's sky full of stars.

I really don't understand why I am made aware of this every now and then. What can I do about it? Perhaps going to USM will help. Who knows.

Sugata